Passing on the April Fools prank this year, due to a lack of motivation which has sadly hit all aspects of my life. Things have been pretty hectic the past month and a half culminating in not one but two moves. Wasn’t real thrilled w/either move, but ultimately I ended up in a set up that is pretty sweet for what I’m looking to get out of it. However, for the first time in my life I find myself living on my own. I’m an extremely independent person so the it’s not really a lonely factor that has put me in a funk. What I’m actually struggling the most with is self motivation. Not that I really got much aid from my previous roommates, as we didn’t exactly share much in common far as lifestyle and extra curricular activities go, but having 4 other guys around the house if nothing else kept me ambitious. When you only have God and yourself to answer to its very easy to succumb to complacency.
I went through a similar adjustment period playing ball in college. Going into that level I expected everyone to have the same goals as me, using college ball as a stepping stone for furthering a career in baseball, regardless of how unlikely that may have been. I was used to having someone along side me, pushing my limits. Sadly I saw a lot of wasted talent and mediocre effort. People worked hard, but never really outside of the requirements of practice and game time. It took me a red shirt freshman year where I ultimately would get cut to realize in order to reach my goals I would have to put in the time and work w/o being pushed to do so.
It’s never easy to grab life by the reigns and go beyond the call of duty to get what you want. Yet I don’t see any other way to get what I want out of life. That being said, I’ve spent some time reflecting over the first quarter of this year in comparison to my resolutions. So far I’ve done fairly well to stay on pace. I’m about $4.2k/mo behind my goal of +$250k/yr. Chalk that up to lack of live play due in part to a hectic couple of months mixed in w/a minor down swing. I hope to remedy sooner than later. I’ve failed to get away from my online backing deal, but have had some success staking/coaching one of my good college friends. I’d love to get away from being backed, but playing live events mixed with $5/10+ live cash along w/dabbling in backing puts me in a spot where playing on my own dime online would spread me a little too thin. I don’t think I’m giving up too much equity w/my current situation as I still see live play as my bread and butter. Playing 10/20 and midstake live MTTs on my own dime is more important to me than having 100% of myself in online MTTs. I’ve read and reread my blogs of the past year and a few really stood out as informative and self-motivating, others seemed written for the sake of writing. I’ve fallen a little behind my 2/mo. quota, but mainly to avoid writing fluff that is mostly a waste of everyone’s time. I’m thinking writing a solid poker blog once a month alongside a solid life blog will prove to keep the content both interesting and informative all while providing me an outlet to routinely empty out my brain.
Far as life goals go it seems like they directly reflect my poker goals, though generally taking a back seat. I question my priorities often and hope to avoid poker getting in the way of life as much as it does. I’ve done well with staying in touch w/family and friends, but need to get on the ball w/making plans for a big trip w/the boys. The health reform has passed so looks like I’ll be obtaining health insurance in the near future. I’ve done a better job balancing Sunday baseball with Sunday poker. Hopefully as my arm gets closer to game shape this task will become easier.
A Gambler's Fallacy 